The Catcher in the Rye (5)

After sprinting away from Mr. Antolini's house, Holden starts to crack up a bit here.  He fears that he is about to disappear when crossing the street, so he pretends to talk to his deceased younger brother in order to...not disappear?  Anyways, after muttering to himself for a while, Holden proceeds with his emotional breakdown.  Walking through the world as if numb, Holden finds his way to his little sister Phoebe's school and decides to try to visit her.  While waiting to make contact with her, Holden feels physically ill, as if he is about to vomit.  When he finally finds his sister, he is about to collapse.  He tells Phoebe he is leaving for a long time, and shows her a suitcase he was toting around.  She begs him to let her go with him, and he refuses.  She becomes very upset and refuses to talk to her brother, again.  He pretends to give up, and walks towards the zoo, in full knowledge that his sister will follow him.
Sure enough, they arrive as a pair at the zoo, and Phoebe finally begins to warm up to Holden again.  She and Holden bond for a while, until it begins to rain.   Holden remains outside without any protection and gets soaked, but feels a sense of euphoria at seeing his little sister so happy.

After the rainstorm, the chapter ends.  A very short chapter, the last one, follows, serving as an epilogue of sorts.  Holden explains that after the zoo and the rainstorm, he got very sick and had to go to a different school.  However, he makes it abundantly clear that the reader is not to focus on these details, rather, the reader must finish the story themselves.  I like to think Holden went on to live a happy life and everything worked out for him.  What about you?

I think much of this book is about moving on from the death of a loved one.  Upon finishing the book, I was struck by the bittersweet feeling of moving on.  I think, in the end, Holden figured out how to deal with the loss of his younger brother and learned to move on.  The same numbness and bittersweet feelings are abundantly present in the novel The Perks of Being a Wallflower.  The protagonist of The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Charlie, also lives life at a rapid pace and to the extreme, and also has a very difficult time with the death of a loved one.  Charlie and Holden are both quite young at the time of the novel, and are both very sensitive.  Both Charlie and Holden eventually learn to move on and grow in the process.

The Catcher in the Rye really resounded with me.  I've never experienced the traumatic death of a loved one, but I feel better prepared for that inevitability having read this book.  I made a deep and personal connection to Holden.